Something has to happen that I myself cannot cause to happen…I cannot be reborn from below…I can only be healed from above, from where God reaches down.
I’ll be very honest with you.
Since the beginning of coming here to Hard as Nails, I’ve struggled with being here. It’s hard to be away from my family and friends, yes, but more than that, I found it hard that God had chosen me to do something so not “me”. If you know me, I am definitely not loud, emotional, or excited. I tend to like quiet and calming things.
Not that I didn’t know what I was getting myself into when I signed up, but I didn’t know everything I was getting into. And I just felt like I didn’t fit. I was giving everything I had, but I still felt like it wasn’t enough.
After being here for a little bit, they figured out what my gifts were (photography, design, art related things) and started to place me into those things. And I started to feel more like I fit.
But I still was a little uneasy. I was struggling with my own things and then witnessing all the things on the road probably added to that stress and left me in a mess of not really feeling like I knew what I was doing here. It was just SO hard.
But it clicked after something our Episcopal Moderator, Bishop Caggiano, said while we were with him in Conneticut on our first trip back for the year. He told a story of a priest that had Mother Teresa for a spiritual director (right?!). The priest asked Blessed Mother Teresa for advice on how to grow in holiness. She took his hand and ran her finger along each of his fingers and said “You. Did. It. For. Me.” As in, Matthew 25:40 where Jesus says “ ‘Amen, I say to you, whatever you did for one of these least brothers of mine, you did for me.’”
These kids, even if they don’t look like it, are the least of these. They are the people who Christ is telling us “If you do this for them, you do it for me”. These kids that we minister to are struggling and they need our help.
And if Christ was asking me to do something, who was I to deny Him? I’m all about saying yes to God. That is kinda my thing. I’ve always said “I told God to lead me and I just keep saying yes.”
So, that’s when I go on board the mission. Oh, look at me. I’m all fired up ;) But for real. This mission is important. These kids are important. We have to get them to the source of all life, Christ! And that is what we are setting out to do.
So, yeah. You could say I’m on board the mission.
So, I’ve been pretty much silent for a while, and part of the reason is because I was home for 6 months which was truly a blessing to see everyone and just hang out. It was nice to get a break from “sprinting”, as Justin likes to call it.
I left for break on November 24, and I got back on January 9th (delayed because of the snow).Literally the day I got back, we left for a trip to Connecticut, New Jersey, and New York City. All of the events were awesome!
I’ll have to say that the team has gone through a growth spurt over break and since break. We’ve all been working together better and supporting each other as we work through our struggles. Things are going really well.
We also had a trip to Maryland at the end of January. We had two events and I had the privilege of seeing one of my friends who lives in Maryland and hanging out for a little bit after the events.
I have to say that one of my favourite things about the road is the people we get to stay with. The family we stayed with in Maryland was the best. They had 7 kids and they were all so great! It reminded me of my own family when I was growing up and we just had a lot of fun and they were so kind to us :) What a blessing!
I’m really excited about being back and I will be going into each other trips in more depth and some other things over the couple weeks because we have a lot of time off the road this month.
The missionaries are also hosting an event at the end of the month, so pray for us!