"Now look at your hands. They are full of other things. Jesus is standing in front of you with His heart in His hand, offering it to you. But in order to take His heart, you have to drop all of the other things in your hand.
So again, I’ll ask you.
Jesus is looking at you, saying
'Do you love me more than these?'
Respond to Him now. ‘Yes Lord, you know that I love You.’”
This was part of a talk that I went to at a vocations conference in Illinois. I wasn’t there because of my vocation, really, I was there because Justin was doing three sessions. I spent most of my time at the booth we had set up, which was, consequently, set up right across from the booth of the vocations director of Rockford, Fr. Keith. Who gave the above talk. It is interesting how God works. We, along with the guy from Lighthouse Catholic Media, became kind of booth buddies. Which made me interested enough to go to Fr. Keith’s talk. It was the only talk I wandered into all weekend.
It was the only one I needed to hear.
All I knew while I was sitting there, listening to Fr. Keith talk about Peter, was that my hands were (maybe still are) very full. And I am Peter. Looking at the ground as Christ offers forgiveness over and over and asks “Do you love me?”
"Yes, Lord." I reply, still looking at the ground. "You know that I love you."
I had been (have been) struggling with my relationship with God at that point (and recently). I just felt like I was disconnected from Him.
And yet, there He was. The whole time. Hands out, offering His heart to me, asking “Do you love me more than these?”
I went to the chapel to pray later that night. It was dark and I was the only one there, so I sat down on the floor and just stared at the tabernacle.
"Do you love me more than these?" kept coming into my head, over and over and over.
And finally, I had to admit it. “No, Lord. You know that I do not love you more than all of these things that I am letting distract myself from you. But now I am committing to love You more than these. I love you more than these.”
And then I was free. I admitted where I was and I dropped all the things in my hand and took His heart.